Defining moments.

I've been going through some photo albums looking for pictures for my Dad's upcoming 75th birthday.  Ruby pulled out all of her baby albums and started perusing.  Later that night as we were getting ready for bed she said, "I wish I had a Dad."  This is a conversation we have had quite a bit, but seems to come more frequently these days.  I explain that she does in fact have a Dad.  I tell her that even though he isn't present in her life, he does exist.  And I also told her (as I always have) that we should pray for him to make better decisions.  She replied as only a child can.  "Yeah, Mom, but I don't think he will ever make good choices.  And I want a Dad right now, not later."

On a spiritual level she is aware of her Heavenly Father.  She knows that He is never going to leave her.  But, I get, how at 8, she longs for a relationship with her father, too.  It hurts that I can't give her that.  Especially because I know what a special bond that is.  My father has stepped up to the role of not only Papa, but on many occasions, Dad.

This past week we attended a Daddy/Daughter dance at a local church.  It was so sweet to see all of these dads and daughters, arriving in their Sunday finest,  some in stretch limo's, to dance the night away.  A girls first love is her daddy.  My Dad escorted Ruby and she had a great time.

For a brief moment, I was a bit melancholy watching the daughters with their fathers.   Then an amazing thing happened.  A friend of mine (a wonderful dad) asked Ruby to dance.  My brother in law with his daughters invited her on to the dance floor.  And my Dad was ready to cut a rug with his decked out granddaughter while Justin Bieber blared in the background. Of course Ruby was content to hang back and dance with her balloon and indulge in cupcake after cupcake.

It was then that I realized (not for the first time) how very blessed we are to have so many wonderful dad role models that have (and continue to) step up.  My sweet brother in law David, who drops everything to air up bicycle tires and burn movies for her.  My brother in law Jess who does magic tricks for her.  My brothers Kevin and Anton who indulge her and make her feel special.  And my brother in law Scott who made sure she had her favorite tunes on a cd when she had her MRI.  She adores her cousins who let her play games on their phones and never seem too busy to include her in whatever they are doing.

So, while it isn't within my power to change another person, I can certainly change my perspective while shaping hers.  I can teach her the definition of what a father is and she will see that she has been surrounded by them all along.